Marriage Books

There would be a whole library’s worth of books about marriage. But how many of them would actually be good for you to read and beneficial for your relationship. I’ve read four and would claim that they are not just good and beneficial but that they are a necessity for all couples to read and discuss prior to getting married.

Mine was a long distance relationship. Reading through books and discussing them via emails brought us closer together and helped set a firm foundation.

The first book we went through was “Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Most arguments occur due to communication issues. Chapman points out the possible origin and rectifies it with an attainable solution. Start speaking your partner’s love language. Sounds easy but it can be very hard depending on many variables. Find out each others love language then speak it freely and you’re on your way.

Further down the track when our relationship seemed to be going somewhere more serious we moved onto “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married” also by Gary Chapman. It covers a broad range of topics that are good to sort out prior to getting married. The topics seem so obvious that they needn’t be there. But after reading and discussing the chapters I saw the potential for conflict due to different expectations of roles and responsibilities once married. Areas such as housework, cooking, budgeting, etc seem small at first but if left to fester they can cause major rifts in an otherwise healthy relationship.

Closer to the wedding I had two books recommended to me – “One Flesh” by Amelia & Greg Clarke; and “Sheet Music” by Kevin Lemen. These are best read close to the wedding and parts of them post wedding. They assist in setting up realistic goals, expectations and also boundaries for the honeymoon and beyond. It can be tough to bring up these matters with a future spouse. These two books encourage it and it is very worthwhile to heed their advice. Without these books I would have been very unprepared.

Of course there’s so many similar books. These examples are written from a Christian perspective. They were recommended to me and I recommend them to anyone considering marriage.

The Mud Won’t Stick

Shame on one for having an opinion in a time where the only opinions allowed to be spoken are those in favour of the loudest voice. Doesn’t matter a fig the truthfulness of its content. Perhaps I have now gained a glimpse into the lives of truth seekers such as Messrs Jones, Hadley and Bolt.

Here’s a statement of mine from a social network website (granted not the greatest forum for sensible debate and discussion)

Marriage = one man + one woman. It's not discrimination. It's design. It's the differences that unite us and make us "one flesh".

Most comments were supportive, but there were a couple of negative comments that leave one slightly perplexed:

“Are you serious... I have never read such a pile of bullshit in all my life... Yeah u are entitled to your opinion... But what a narrow minded opinion it is...good luck to you”
 

“Oh dear. How very sad. You ignorant homophobes just don't get it at all do you? I actually pity you guys.... If your [sic] going to be an ignorant bigot come out and say it, don't hide behind some religious bullshit”

Some aspects of these comments I find particularly interesting

“Never read…” and “Ignorant” – the writer has never read such a pile of BS yet I am the one who is ignorant. Ignorance means a lack of information or knowledge. Believe me, I have heard and read of the issue of gay marriage. How can you not? Their lobby is small yet very vocal. They make themselves heard. It has been discussed many times around our dinner table. For a supposed small issue it sure takes up much news coverage. Perhaps the reader should do some research on the alternate viewpoint. Yes, there is one. Here’s a good starting point!

“Narrow Minded” – well yes one must admit this to a degree if you have an opinion. See once you have formed an opinion you become narrow to that opinion. But one does keep an open mind to reassess one’s opinions. Be reassured my opinions are well thought out and discussed with peers.

“Homophobe” – one of my least favourite words being used today. Overused by the gay lobby to slander anyone not in favour of their persuasion. By definition a phobia is an abnormal fear. Therefore homophobia is the abnormal fear of homosexuals. If I were a homophobe I would not go near one let alone have them on my social network friend list.

“Bigot” – my thoughts on this word are similar to being labelled a homophobe. A bigot is someone utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief or opinion. It’s a severe label and one that should not be thrown around lightly, yet here it is.

“Religious” – my definition would differ to others. Being a Christian does not equal being religious. Footy fans or political followers can be equally as religious if not more so. Gay and Lesbian lobbyists are more religious than a lot of Christians, think about it.

“I…pity you guys” – oh how condescending. But why should we be pitied?

“Hiding” – what the? Airing an opinion is hardly hiding. If I were hiding these people would not have come back with such slander.

With all this being said would it be surprising that it appears these people have since deleted and / or blocked me from the friend list?

Ironic. After all, this response could be seen as rather bigoted, religious, ignorant and narrow-minded.

Pulling No Punches

“Pulling No Punches”

by Barry Hall with Michael Cowley

As premiership captain he was the man. I was in Melbourne in 2005 watching him on a big screen holding the premiership cup aloft. Then more of the same later at Punt Road Oval and the next day at Albert Park. Life couldn’t get much better for him and Sydney Swans supporters.

Fast forward a few years and I am at the ground to witness Barry knockout Brent Staker with a well aimed left cross. It was the worst incident I have witnessed on the football field. Such a fall from grace.

There was so much conjecture at the time about what was really going on behind the scenes. At a time when Barry wanted some privacy he got even more hounded by the media. Speculation was rife. In a way he was his own worst enemy.

It took him a few years but finally Barry is telling his story in his own words. As the title suggests, he is pulling no punches. He is critical of Paul Roos and some former Swans teammates. Though he saves the worst criticism for himself. He freely acknowledges that he put himself into many of these tough situations.

He’s honest about his upbringing. From his father almost disowning him when he gave up boxing to almost killing a man in a fit of rage. He was an angry young man. His anger almost brought his downfall long before he became well known for football talents.

I'm glad Barry got to tell his side of the story. He gave so much to football despite his misgivings. He deserved to go out on a high and well done to the Western Bulldogs for giving him the opportunity to do so. As a Swans fan I think he had to leave the club given everything that had happened. It appears that Roosy could have handled matters differently but the outcome would have probably been the same.

Barry describes situations where he was rightfully frustrated with people not talking to him with too much being played out in the media. This was a media that was on his case since the 2006 grand final loss in which Barry played poorly. That was probably the beginning of the end at Sydney.

There were areas of his story where I thought he would delve deeper. I perceived that there was more to the story than he was telling. Although I applaud his discretion in keeping some matters private.

I suggest all fellow Swans fans have a read to gain some perspective.

Been There

“Blood, Sweat  Tea”

by Tom Reynolds

What started out as a blog by an experienced Paramedic in London became a book. Later there would be a sequel to the book.

I came across “Blood, Sweat & Tea” when I was still doing patient transport for the Ambulance Service of NSW. A paramedic from my station was reading it and was finding it interesting.

Finally, I came around to reading it. It truly was an interesting book. Mainly because for every story of his I could think of a similar story of my own. That made it as easy read as well. Non-paramedics should also find it easy to follow. Plus it’s written in a light-hearted fashion that made it enjoyable.

Paramedics will laugh but others will probably cringe at the ridiculous recounts of humanity.

The sequel is already on my shelves waiting to be read.

Tassie Honeymoon

“Nothing much to do in Tassie” I was told. Yet it was a struggle to fit everything in that we wanted to do.

Admittedly a lot depends on what sort of holiday you are after. I was on my honeymoon so cruisey suited me very nicely. If you want excitement plus then Hobart is not for you. Hobart is definitely cruisey. It’s much like a large regional centre. It’s easy to park in the city centre and easy to walk around to take in the scenery.

There was one stage when I felt that all Hobart had to offer was fine dining. Many friends raved on about the food. So many restaurants that were meant to attract the tourist like me. Luckily I was after many dining options for my new wife and me. Although some prior research and a visit to the information centre proved that there was so much more to Hobart than food.

Some activities I had planned to do prior to arriving:

• Cascade Brewery – You don’t have to love beer to appreciate the process of making it. They do ciders as well anyway.
• Bellerive Oval – I have a fascination with sporting fields and my wife enjoys cricket. A lovely day strolling around the facility gaining insight to what goes on game day. I will be able to watch the footy and cricket in a different light now.
• Salamanca Markets – A must do I was told. They were right.
• Port Arthur – Our biggest venture outside of Hobart. Was worth the trip for the drive alone. The tours included in the basic package were fantastic.

Other activities were decided to do once we had arrived:

• City Tour – A narrated drive around the city with a few stops. Three hours in total. Well worth the money and time.
• Hobart Show – Originally wanted to go to the markets at the same venue until we found out that a mini version of the Sydney Royal Easter Show was on at the showground. A great day out.
• Theatre Royal– My wife happens to love live theatre and approved of the show that was on. I had no idea. She enjoyed the chance to get dressed up.
• Mt Wellington – Great views. We were lucky to have a clear day. Enjoyable drive to the top. Right near the brewery so combining the two is advantageous.

Yet there’s still things we missed:

• MONA (Museum of Old & New Art) – Our tour bus driver suggested that the art is a bit ‘out there’ so we might not have enjoyed it anyway.
• Theatre Royal – As well as the show we could have done a tour of the facility and seen backstage. My wife especially would have found this fascinating.
• Port Arthur – We just got the basic package, but there is potentially so much more to do.
• Derwent River Cruises – Can be pricey so we made it a lower priority. I'm sure they would have been nice.

Plus there is so much more of Tasmania to explore.

I must give huge accolades to our accommodation called ‘@ Eleven’. I was after a serviced apartment when I found their website. It’s not your regular serviced apartment. It’s an affordable villa in suburban Sandy Bay on the outskirts of Hobart. It’s rather quaint with plenty of character. I recommend it highly and if the opportunity comes to return to Hobart I will be staying there again. I’m hoping that it may be possible to go to a footy game at Bellerive. Here’s hoping.