Marriage Books

There would be a whole library’s worth of books about marriage. But how many of them would actually be good for you to read and beneficial for your relationship. I’ve read four and would claim that they are not just good and beneficial but that they are a necessity for all couples to read and discuss prior to getting married.

Mine was a long distance relationship. Reading through books and discussing them via emails brought us closer together and helped set a firm foundation.

The first book we went through was “Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Most arguments occur due to communication issues. Chapman points out the possible origin and rectifies it with an attainable solution. Start speaking your partner’s love language. Sounds easy but it can be very hard depending on many variables. Find out each others love language then speak it freely and you’re on your way.

Further down the track when our relationship seemed to be going somewhere more serious we moved onto “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married” also by Gary Chapman. It covers a broad range of topics that are good to sort out prior to getting married. The topics seem so obvious that they needn’t be there. But after reading and discussing the chapters I saw the potential for conflict due to different expectations of roles and responsibilities once married. Areas such as housework, cooking, budgeting, etc seem small at first but if left to fester they can cause major rifts in an otherwise healthy relationship.

Closer to the wedding I had two books recommended to me – “One Flesh” by Amelia & Greg Clarke; and “Sheet Music” by Kevin Lemen. These are best read close to the wedding and parts of them post wedding. They assist in setting up realistic goals, expectations and also boundaries for the honeymoon and beyond. It can be tough to bring up these matters with a future spouse. These two books encourage it and it is very worthwhile to heed their advice. Without these books I would have been very unprepared.

Of course there’s so many similar books. These examples are written from a Christian perspective. They were recommended to me and I recommend them to anyone considering marriage.

The Mud Won’t Stick

Shame on one for having an opinion in a time where the only opinions allowed to be spoken are those in favour of the loudest voice. Doesn’t matter a fig the truthfulness of its content. Perhaps I have now gained a glimpse into the lives of truth seekers such as Messrs Jones, Hadley and Bolt.

Here’s a statement of mine from a social network website (granted not the greatest forum for sensible debate and discussion)

Marriage = one man + one woman. It's not discrimination. It's design. It's the differences that unite us and make us "one flesh".

Most comments were supportive, but there were a couple of negative comments that leave one slightly perplexed:

“Are you serious... I have never read such a pile of bullshit in all my life... Yeah u are entitled to your opinion... But what a narrow minded opinion it is...good luck to you”
 

“Oh dear. How very sad. You ignorant homophobes just don't get it at all do you? I actually pity you guys.... If your [sic] going to be an ignorant bigot come out and say it, don't hide behind some religious bullshit”

Some aspects of these comments I find particularly interesting

“Never read…” and “Ignorant” – the writer has never read such a pile of BS yet I am the one who is ignorant. Ignorance means a lack of information or knowledge. Believe me, I have heard and read of the issue of gay marriage. How can you not? Their lobby is small yet very vocal. They make themselves heard. It has been discussed many times around our dinner table. For a supposed small issue it sure takes up much news coverage. Perhaps the reader should do some research on the alternate viewpoint. Yes, there is one. Here’s a good starting point!

“Narrow Minded” – well yes one must admit this to a degree if you have an opinion. See once you have formed an opinion you become narrow to that opinion. But one does keep an open mind to reassess one’s opinions. Be reassured my opinions are well thought out and discussed with peers.

“Homophobe” – one of my least favourite words being used today. Overused by the gay lobby to slander anyone not in favour of their persuasion. By definition a phobia is an abnormal fear. Therefore homophobia is the abnormal fear of homosexuals. If I were a homophobe I would not go near one let alone have them on my social network friend list.

“Bigot” – my thoughts on this word are similar to being labelled a homophobe. A bigot is someone utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief or opinion. It’s a severe label and one that should not be thrown around lightly, yet here it is.

“Religious” – my definition would differ to others. Being a Christian does not equal being religious. Footy fans or political followers can be equally as religious if not more so. Gay and Lesbian lobbyists are more religious than a lot of Christians, think about it.

“I…pity you guys” – oh how condescending. But why should we be pitied?

“Hiding” – what the? Airing an opinion is hardly hiding. If I were hiding these people would not have come back with such slander.

With all this being said would it be surprising that it appears these people have since deleted and / or blocked me from the friend list?

Ironic. After all, this response could be seen as rather bigoted, religious, ignorant and narrow-minded.