Why Men Hate Church – Book Review

“Why Men Hate Going To Church”
by David Murrow

Despite what you might think of the title it is not the aim of this book to send men away from church. Not even to call men back to church. Rather its intention is to call the church back to them. Change the “thermostat” as Murrow puts it. After all, and you might find this surprising, men are the largest unreached people group.

Why is this the case? Well the book covers a lot of bases. None in any great detail but enough to make the reader think about their own church and their relationship with God. It will also hopefully open up channels of conversation with friends and/or people in their own church.

Men are different, and perhaps the biggest mistake our Christian sisters make is to try and change us into how they think we ought to be. Instead they should accept who we are and celebrate that we have a masculine spirit, using it to their advantage and for the growth of God’s kingdom.

Murrow gives plenty of practical methods for “changing the thermostat.” He focuses on the areas of leadership, pastors, teaching, worship, women and ministry in his chapter Restoring the Masculine Spirit in the Church.

Well worth a read for all blokes and all women who care for the spiritual lives of their blokes.

For more information on David Murrow's mens ministries check out his Church for Men website or its sister site Speaking of Men. Or you can even learn how to pray with a man without totally freaking him out. Checkout other David Murrow books at Koorong.

Let Men's Clubs Be

Anyone (especially the women) ever think why a mens only club such as the Athenaeum Club exists? Perhaps it's because men need such clubs. In the same way that men might need a mens only bible study group. Different species, different needs.

Thanks to the efforts of feminism the roles of men have become blurred. Men are confused, we need places like this where they can just be blokes.

It was some of the male members of the Athenaeum Club that alerted the media to the secret membership limitations. But haven't the women jumped on board with their "How dare they!" diatribe. A discrimination commissioner of some sort was even heard commenting on national radio about the situation. Guests on a morning television program were aghast and proclaimed their disapproval.

But ladies, let the men have their little bloke only zones. It is good for the men and good for everyone else.

Rid Yourself of Tall Poppy Syndrome

Why is it that in this country we are always so quick to cut down the wealthy in society? Whether it is in how we want taxation to be structured (i.e. higher rates for the top earners) or just general insults about their perceived ignorance of the working class issues.

It's the classic "tall poppy syndrome" where we need to bring those above us in status down to our level instead of striving to succeed. It can manifest itself as jealousy which can lead to all sorts of problems.

Malcolm Turnbull, newly elected as Opposition Leader, was for some reason compelled to sell his working class roots. But why?

He is considerably wealthy, apparently $125 million net worth. But then so is the Rudd family. So isn’t it a bit rich (pardon the pun) to label Turnbull as “out of touch” just because he has wealth.

But of course now the Labor heavies are saying it isn’t about the wealth, it’s about the attitude and values. Well at the moment Labor’s attitude is a bit on the nose.

Ever think that Turnbull is more qualified than anyone else to lead. After all he has succeeded in many occupations and business ventures. He has been a journalist, lawyer, merchant banker and also had a stake in OzEmail.

It wouldn’t have been easy to get to where he is today. Especially given his childhood. While he wasn’t hugely deprived, the son of a tradesman lost his mother at the age of 9 when she left to be with another man. By valuing his education he studied at a tertiary level in Australia and overseas. The “self made man” had to work hard to earn his wealth, we shouldn’t begrudge that.

By not appreciating what Malcolm Turnbull can potentially offer the Opposition and the country we are promoting mediocrity. Instead we should be promoting the value of education and have big goals to strive towards. Hold stories like Turnbull’s up high instead of trying to cut him down at the knees.

Celebrate success and do away with the tall poppy syndrome. No one likes negative people anyway.

A Brave Fox

Children’s author, Mem Fox, is reported as saying that society would look back on the trend of putting infants in child care and wonder "how could we have allowed that child abuse to happen". (SMH 1/9/08)

She continued:

"I don't know why some people have children at all if they know that they can only take a few weeks off work," she told a Melbourne newspaper. "I know you want a child, and you have every right to want a child, but does the child want you if you are going to put it in child care at six weeks? I don't think the child wants you, to tell the honest truth." (SMH 1/9/08)

Perhaps she is using hyperbole to make her point by calling childcare a form of abuse. But sometimes ideas need to be exaggerated for the point to be made. With the vehement rebuttal from working mums and childcare agencies I assume the point has been well made and has struck a nerve.

Working mothers feel the have no choice. They must work to make ends meet.

More than two-thirds of working mums would rather be at home with their children. But for most it is not an option because they need a job just to make ends meet. (Daily Telegraph 26/8/08)

But do the really? Angela van Boxtel feels somewhat unsympathetic to their plight

Many women don't realise it, but the very simple answer to the question of balance for working mothers is this: be happy with less. (Daily Telegraph 27/8/08)

This is coming from a woman who has four children and has made the necessary sacrifices so that her children get to grow up knowing their mother.

While Mem Fox’s call on childcare being a form of abuse is very gutsy it has more than an essence of truth. Children should grow up knowing their parents. Sticking them in childcare as early as six weeks is surely bad for the child and reeks of a lack of priorities. What higher priority is there than the child? As stated on this blog, children are a blessing and it's time to treat them like one. Childcare is a lazy option by those who are selfish and don’t want to sacrifice anything.

Fox is right. It’s as if they don’t even want the child at all.

Not Clearly Thinking

Almost all of Sydney let their hearts get carried away this week. They were swept up in the romantic notion that a whale’s life we could be saved and maintained after it appeared on our northern beaches seemingly abandoned by its mother and pod.

Unfortunately nature is tough. Abandoned baby whales die and there is nothing we can do to stop it. That’s just the way it is. A baby whale probably dies everyday, but just because Collette found her way to a suburban piece of Aussie coastline she gets a lot of attention.

One man even called for the UN to get involved, as if they would. Others were making their own concoctions of the special milk mixture that has been used to feed whales in such situations overseas. I even heard a story of someone buying 10 x 2L cartons of milk exclaiming, “this is for Colin” even though whales can’t take cow’s milk. Feels as if that this is a serious case of 'man' believing they can control every situation, not the case.

But for all those who really wanted to save the whale’s life, not one was seen with a blank cheque to hand to the NPW. Because that’s what it would have taken to save Collette. That and a lifetimes devotion to caring for the mammoth sized creature. Even then there is no guarantee of its survival.

At least common sense finally prevailed and Collette was put to sleep humanely as there was nothing we as humans could do to save it in the long term.

Now that it’s all over. A lot of people need to just sit back and start thinking with their heads as they were all emotion yet no substance.

That didn't stop the Daily Telegraph well and truly jumping on the emotion driven bandwagon with the headline "We could have done more" (23/8/08). Calls are now on for Collette's legacy to have some meaning by having a summit, bringing together whale experts from all over the world. Paid for by whom I wonder? Probably the taxpayer.

If we genuinely cared about each other half as much as they wanted to look after Collette then we would have a much better society.