General Ambulance Rules

1. If you could be bothered to call an ambulance at 3am you should be bothered to be transported. I don’t care how trivial it might be, more than likely we got out of bed for this call out
2. If the patient can tell you that they are short of breath in one full sentence then they more than likely not short of breath
3. If the patient complains of neck pain they shouldn’t complain of discomfort when a hard collar is applied, it’s just something we have to do
4. If the patient does something they know makes them sick then they shouldn’t expect much sympathy from Ambulance and Triage
5. If you feign unconsciousness you give us free reign to inflict pain to wake you up
6. Don’t be surprised when Towies beat us to motor vehicle accidents
7. Don’t call for an Ambulance then dislike being asked so many questions about your condition. If we didn’t ask we would not be doing our job properly
8. Don’t call us and then apologise for calling us once on scene
9. Your general practitioner can actually do more for you when it comes to trivial matters
10. If you're in police custody don't tell us your "I'm innocent" sob story. We're not interested and we'll only side with the police anyway.