I'm always interested when religion neutral editorialists write something that in some way backs up what Christian leaders have been professing for years. Amanda Platell writes for the Daily Telegraph and today (2/8/06) she published "Beware Mr Write-Off, Destroyer of Dreams." In it she refers to the failure of the feminist movement by allowing women to believe that cohabiting is the better way to rather than marriage. But what Platell has found is that most men in these relationships opt out by the 10 year mark, leaving her high and dry and in "no-mans land." By that time the woman may be desprate for children which is a major turn off for blokes. So while the bloke has found someone else the woman is finding things difficult indeed.
Check out the link and pass on your thoughts.
Check out the link and pass on your thoughts.
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5 comments:
I'd respond by saying that marriage isn't some kind of glue that prevents separation.
Divorce is rife.
What is she saying needs to change but the ways of people's hearts?
All she is really saying is that people should be faithful to each other, but people not being faithfull is the problem to begin with. Marriage is not the cure, Jesus is the cure... and so on.
Whilst I agree entirly with you Dave about your sentiments that only Jesus can change our hearts, I also think the the feminists were really quite stupid to think that not marrying men would give them more power.
This may have been great for the promiscuous women who were happy to go from partner to partner, but when it becomes acceptable to change partners whenever you want when unmarried it makes divorce seem more acceptable too. When you start a culture where a lack of commitment is the norm, what do you expect?
As a synical single, I am yet to be convinced of a great reason to get married at this stage of my mind (of course having not found a man I am particularly interested in or vice versa helps!) I often get the feeling that that many people crave the status of marriage rather than the reasons behind it. Singles (in christian AND non-Christian circles) seem to look for marriage rather than being happy with their current circumstances. Sure, if a person comes along with whom you have a "connection" I can see why you would want to publicly declare that love. But why do people yearn for marriage itself? (I believe it is a fear of being alone and wanting the "ideal" life, but that's just me).
The reasons I have been given for marrying someone (apart from obviously love) have ranged from tax to sex reasons and now this - I'm going to call it "Lock him in Eddie".
I'm not sure if this idea is what the church has been preaching. That you should get married so the man is locked in and hopefully won't file for divorce because he is too lazy hardly sounds like God's will. Having kids is a wonderful gift (from God!) and something I am sure many women crave. But who wants to have kids with someone who is only there under contractual obligation? (BTW which band made that album? or was it monty python?)
I think, if 1 Cor 7 (all single people's favourite passage :) is saying anything, it is saying that we should look at our current circumstances and see how we can do God's work to the best of ours (and God's) ability. If you happen to find someone who you cannot live without, will only distract you if you do not marry them, and may even assist you in doing God's work, sure! Get married with God's blessing! But make sure you have godly reasons in mind rather than earthly. If everyone had that idea, no one would be seeking to break their marriage "contract" at all.
Just in case of any confusion, I'm not suggesting that woman get married as a safety net but for exactly the reasons Kate illuded to, godly reasons. I mainly found interesting Platell's opinion that feminism has failed woman and cohabiting doesn't work. Thanks Dave C for expanding on that point.
I hope I was in no way ILLUSIVE. But that is what I ALLUDED
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