Words that no one wants to hear. It’s indicates a change in a relationship. Whether these are positive or negative changes is up to the individuals involved. Some changes may fluctuate, manoeuvring between both positive and negative emotional responses. Eventually there is the hope of regaining a reasonable level of sociability again.
The big question is: After breaking up from a serious relationship, can men and women remain just friends?
We hear in celebrity news of constant break ups. Publicists usually try to pedal the same spiel about the couple remaining close friends. What a load of rubbish I would always think. Although it is a different world that they live in so maybe the same premise doesn’t apply to ‘normal’ people.
The famous line from the movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’ brings some relevance to the topic. Harry says to Sally, “Men and women can’t be just friends. The sex always gets in the way.” Unfortunately this statement makes the assumption that all male/female friendships must involve sex, which hopefully isn’t the case. But it is correct by inference that once you have formed a serious relationship it is very hard, if not impossible, to remain just as friends.
I would say it is possible to remain friends. But close friends, well, I don’t think it is possible. You just can’t go back to the way it was before the relationship went to the next level. This may have involved hanging out exclusively but just as friends or going out with groups while still staying close to each other.
World acclaimed marriage and grief counsellor, H. Norman Wright, in his
book titled ‘Let’s Just Be Friends’ says that hanging out like that again is a waste of time. It is holding back both individuals from forming new relationships with the opposite sex that may eventually lead to something serious (paraphrasing).
To say a former couple should completely go their separate ways and never speak to each other is a bit far fetched. Not to mention how difficult it would be to avoid each other as similar circles of friends have usually been formed. However, to go back to just being friends may take some time.
The big question is: After breaking up from a serious relationship, can men and women remain just friends?
We hear in celebrity news of constant break ups. Publicists usually try to pedal the same spiel about the couple remaining close friends. What a load of rubbish I would always think. Although it is a different world that they live in so maybe the same premise doesn’t apply to ‘normal’ people.
The famous line from the movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’ brings some relevance to the topic. Harry says to Sally, “Men and women can’t be just friends. The sex always gets in the way.” Unfortunately this statement makes the assumption that all male/female friendships must involve sex, which hopefully isn’t the case. But it is correct by inference that once you have formed a serious relationship it is very hard, if not impossible, to remain just as friends.
I would say it is possible to remain friends. But close friends, well, I don’t think it is possible. You just can’t go back to the way it was before the relationship went to the next level. This may have involved hanging out exclusively but just as friends or going out with groups while still staying close to each other.
World acclaimed marriage and grief counsellor, H. Norman Wright, in his
book titled ‘Let’s Just Be Friends’ says that hanging out like that again is a waste of time. It is holding back both individuals from forming new relationships with the opposite sex that may eventually lead to something serious (paraphrasing).To say a former couple should completely go their separate ways and never speak to each other is a bit far fetched. Not to mention how difficult it would be to avoid each other as similar circles of friends have usually been formed. However, to go back to just being friends may take some time.
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1 comment:
I dunno dude, I've been there and back and are still really close friends with the people involved...for the most part I think there's an unwillingness to actually deal with lingering resentments or whatever which make it awkward and difficult.
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