I like the concept of tough love. It says I love you enough to give you this reality check. It may hurt now, but in time you will realise that it was necessary. It’s like how my Mum gives me the metaphorical boot up the bum to get me moving when I start to get a bit lazy.
I think people are afraid of tough love, not wanting to hurt other people’s feelings, in which I think there is some merit, no one likes hurting people's feelings. But if you don’t like a situation and someone is doing something wrong I feel it is someone’s duty to rebuke to correct the behaviour. When this is done right I think it can be very effective.
It can be infuriating to hear things about you second or third hand. Are we that scared that we can’t open up the lines of conversation and in a quiet moment say, “Hey, can we talk?”
No one needs to air dirty laundry in public, nothing ever gets sorted that way. But coming into the conversation on equal terms, starting sentences with, “I don’t like it how you…” or “When you do this I feel….” which would lead to “I would prefer it if you would….” helps get desired results.
Now that might hurt an individual, in the short term, but if we are to grow as people and as Christians I believe we need a bit of tough love. Without it we go through life being spoilt by simply believing that we are so good that we’re doing everything right. Why wouldn’t this person think that, no one has told them that they are doing the wrong thing.
I think people are afraid of tough love, not wanting to hurt other people’s feelings, in which I think there is some merit, no one likes hurting people's feelings. But if you don’t like a situation and someone is doing something wrong I feel it is someone’s duty to rebuke to correct the behaviour. When this is done right I think it can be very effective.
It can be infuriating to hear things about you second or third hand. Are we that scared that we can’t open up the lines of conversation and in a quiet moment say, “Hey, can we talk?”
No one needs to air dirty laundry in public, nothing ever gets sorted that way. But coming into the conversation on equal terms, starting sentences with, “I don’t like it how you…” or “When you do this I feel….” which would lead to “I would prefer it if you would….” helps get desired results.
Now that might hurt an individual, in the short term, but if we are to grow as people and as Christians I believe we need a bit of tough love. Without it we go through life being spoilt by simply believing that we are so good that we’re doing everything right. Why wouldn’t this person think that, no one has told them that they are doing the wrong thing.
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1 comment:
looks like someone has been thinking about a certain sermon he heard on Sunday...
It is often very difficult to figure out when you are being selfish and should just put up with people or when the other person really needs to change. Obviously, there are some issues that must be addressed - it is not loving to allow someone to risk their salvation (as was the case in Corinth). But is it loving to bring up every minor thing someone does that annoys you? Sometimes it is better to learn patience and grow up yourself...
BTW Tim, I think I heard your mum telling you to clean up your room.
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