When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs."
He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep."
He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go." (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, "Follow me." (John 21)
There is something about that sentiment that I struggle with. Essentially we have a man saying that he loves another man. It’s not a normal thing to say these days and I don’t think I would be the only dude to feel even a little uncomfortable. Churches have turned blokes off attending by overusing such sentiments. Just check out my review of David Murrow’s book, ‘Why Men Hate Going To Church’.
The obvious truth was put to me though. That we can love others in a non-romantic way. Yes, but blokes express that love differently to woman. So blokes don’t say I love you to their best mate. Instead perhaps saying, “I love your work”, a personal favourite. While the women can get away with saying to their girls friends that they love them, and be sincere about it.
That being said, I do love my brother, just don’t tell him I said so. I find it ironic that just when we are getting on better than ever he goes back to university in country NSW.
I also love Jesus, I love his work even more.
Now to counter balance all this guy love I shall roam aimlessly wearing a footy jersey and have a beer in hand. Any dudes want to join me.
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3 comments:
On why men hate going to church - let me ask this: Is the real reason that the church insists on talking about love, or is it that the world insists that such talk is unmanly? I contend it is the latter. If it's good enough for the Lord Jesus and Peter, it's good enough for you and me.
I love you, Tim.
LB
From what I remember the book by David Murrow doesn't explicity tackle the subject of talking lovey dovey about Jesus. It's worth a read if you're willing a go a little mainstream ;) I might have to give it another read myself, it's been a few years now.
You make a top point. If it's spoken by Jesus then it must be good. Is there an interesting translation from the original Greek? Perhaps the original language means something slightly different.
Oh and I love you too Lindsay.
Oh yes, the Greek of this passage is spectacularly diluted by the translation into the wearisome clumsiness of modern English. There are two different words used for each of "love", "know", "lamb/sheep", and "feed/tend". Our translations can cope with the latter two, but flounder helplessly with the former.
If I may supply an amplified translation:
"Simon, son of John, do you self-sacrificially love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know the cold fact that I love you like a friend." He said to him, "Feed my lambs."
He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you self-sacrificially love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know the cold fact that I love you like a friend." He said to him, "Tend my sheep."
He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me like a friend?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me like a friend?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know the cold facts of everything; you know deeply in your heart that I love you like a friend." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep."
Interesting one. It seems as if Peter could not say to Jesus that he loved him self-sacrificially (agapao). When Jesus relented the third time asking him if he loved him with a "lesser" love (philo), Peter was grieved. When asked about "agape", he said that Jesus knew the fact of his "philia" love. This happens twice, as Jesus seems to press the point. But then, when asked about the "philia", Peter says in effect, "well, actually you know the cold facts of all things, but you have come to know in your heart by experience that I have loved and still do love you as a friend".
It seems to me that Peter was reluctant to tell Jesus he loved him self-sacrificially, because he knew that his form would not back up the claim. Remember his three-fold denial of Jesus when he was arrested. He felt that to say an unqualified "yes" would be to lie, and he knew that Jesus knew everything - lying to him is pointless. Peter knew he did not love Jesus with true "agape", and he hated the fact. In his subsequent life though, he went on to prove that this had changed because of the Holy Spirit given to him at Pentecost.
Part of the problem here is that we do not know what love is. It is not being lovey dovey. That is romance, not love. I can romance a girl without loving her, and I can love her without romancing her. Romance has nothing to do with our life in Christ, and it should be eradicated from church worship. However, our chief business in corporate church life should be love. Love needs more emphasis in church, not less. And we need to start by learning exactly what Jesus means by love.
LB
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